4 Ways to Manage Feelings of Grief and Loss While the Individual is Still Alive
Strategies to help you accept the changes to both of your lives
By Polly Logan, PAC Team Member
Are you caring for a person living with dementia? Have you wondered if it is normal to experience feelings of grief and loss, even though the person living with dementia has not yet passed? As brain change progresses, even though the core and essence of the individual remains, there are many things that do change. Aspects of an individual’s appearance, abilities, and personality may become quite different, for example. It is very common for these changes to prompt feelings of grief and loss for those close to the individual.
These feelings of loss can be very complicated with dementia, because changes are not always stable or predictable — one moment the person may seem similar to how they once were, and the next moment they may seem incredibly different.
Also, in the early states of dementia, the changes may not be readily noticeable to others, so you may feel as if you are grieving alone. How can you manage these feelings of grief and loss? See our four tips below to help you cope with the changes you’re seeing.
1. Try not to grieve in front of them
It is perfectly normal and healthy to experience these feelings, but do your best to grieve when you are apart from the individual. Although you can certainly let them know how sorry you are that this is happening to them, expressing your personal grief to the individual will rarely help you feel better. It may also increase their feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame.
Even when you feel that the individual living with dementia is no longer able to recognize you, they typically are still able to pick up on the feelings and mood of those around them. Choose to express your grief and loss when you are not around them.
